Unwritten

 (From a song by Natasha Bedingfield) 

I am unwritten, 

Can't read my mind I'm undefined I'm just beginning 

The pen's in my hand Ending unplanned 

The first year of Uni is officially over – term finished, exams done, results… well, I would not be studying in the UK if I had already known them. 

Last piece of coursework submitted, last book is given back to the library, last drink is finished at the end of the year party. By this time the halls are already empty, everyone had to move out at the end of last week. My dear biochemists who will be hugely missed all went home – irrespectively where home is – London, Durham, Spain, Germany or Luxembourg and indeed many others. 

 I went back to Imperial just a few days ago to submit a form I totally forgot about during the exam period. I cannot say it was empty - it’s never is - but the contrast with its usual state was too noticeable. Nobody is seating on a grass in front of Suicide Tower (that’s how most of us call the Queens Tower – the oldest building of the college- some students actually did commit a suicide from there that’s why now there is no access to the top. Usually when I am doing tours I tell people that none of those people were biochemists), people in the library watch video on YouTube instead of hectically trying to finish a lab report/essay, project (I have no idea why they do it in the library though… may be got very attached to it during the exam period?) and even no queue in the canteen (!). Nevertheless my Uni still looks very beautiful. 

 A year ago when I was asked what is my favorite part of London I would not be able to say anything specific – maybe Trafalgar Square (when you stand just opposite the National Gallery overlooking the fountains and Big Ben and feel that you are really in London) or Piccadilly Circus at night (with all the lights on and crowds around irrespectively of how late it is) – but now I can tell for sure, my favorite part of London is South Kensington. 

My love for London in general did not go away either. It has just transformed from a strong but immature emotion into a profound feeling and hopefully some understanding. Every time my head is not too preoccupied with other things I just take my time to admire my beloved city and feel extremely grateful one more time that I have a chance to live here. As far as I am concerned, one of my main achievements this year was keeping my old friends at the same time as getting new ones. 

 Back in June 2009 I really did not know how distance, university, new people and lifestyle will affect our friendship but now one year later I can say that girls from Bellerbys are still a big part of my life. It is not that important that some people go – the most important is that others stay. 

This year was also marked by a significant change in my lifestyle – after living in a host family for 3 years I was finally renting a flat on my own. Which was great – even when I realized that there is no milk in the fridge for a simple reason that I forgot to get some. Or that I really have to clean the flat if I still want to live there. Or that there are all sorts of bills to pay if I want to have water, electricity and Internet. And I can no longer moan about the way my host mum washes our clothes as now I am the one to blame. It was great because I had my own space, my little quiet part of London where I could escape when I felt I cannot do it any longer – talking or indeed seeing people, running around like crazy, studying or even partying. 

There are many things that I have done this year and even more that I wish I had time for. But this year is over and next one will be very different again. At least because this is my last post for the blog I have been doing since January 2008. I was sharing with you my experiences, thoughts and emotions like putting a tiny part of myself into every line of those endless Internet pages. I would like to say goodbye to everyone who was following this blog, thank you for all your comments and just hope that it was useful and fun to read. 

Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten. 

Good luck and have a great summer!

Ksenia achieved six A grades at Bellerbys Brighton in 2009

Comments

[Peter Corcut]

Hi Ksenia,
I have very much enjoyed reading your blog!
Congratulations to you on your work at Bellerbys and now at Imperial and thanks for all you have done for us.
I wish you all the best for the future! I hope it will be brilliant!

Peter Corcut

[Stephen]

Hi Ksenia!
We've really enjoyed reading about your journey throughout your time at Bellerbys College and beyond! Thank you for generously sharing your experiences with us.
I wish you all the best for the future and please keep in touch with Bellerbys!
Stephen
Bellerbys Assistant Editor

[Chris Arulraj]

I am very pleased that you still love London as much as you expected. Imperial sounds perfect for you, but this does not surprise me. You have changed so much over the years I have known you, and you are now a young lady, with a clearer and very positive future in which to develop all your skills further. I wish you well in everything you try for - it has been a pleasure to know you, Very best wishes always,